why yes, i would jump off a bridge

cliches, we all have at one point uttered them and have had some said to us. they are sayings that are burned into everyones vocabulary, just by constant repitition. we're here to address some of the most prominent cliches, and give a bit of commentary on each. here goes!




1- if _____ jumped off a bridge, would you?




first off all, If you say this to someone, what you are really trying to say is "stop copying whatever so-and so does". For example, Lets say my friend, Jimmy is going swimming with sharks, and I want to go too, and you say the "jump off a bridge" thing to me, If I am copying or following the lead of Jimmy, there must be a good reason why. Jimmy must make good choices in life for me to want to imitate them. Its not like Jimmy is insane, because then your just implying that im insane as well and thats just not nice or true. But more importantly, WHY exactly would Jimmy jump off a bridge? If he makes brilliant decisions in life for me to want to be like him, then there must be a damn good reason he is jumping off that bridge! Did you consider a misguided North Korean missle could be headed towards that bridge? Or what about a loose space craft piece flying towards said bridge? Maybe there are wild rabid dogs running toward you from all directions of that bridge? Did ya just think about that for a sec, DID YOU!? I thought so. So naturally, hoping there's a nice gentle flowing river under that bridge, deep enough for me to jump in without getting squashed, the idea of jumping from a bridge seems safe, sound, and logical. And even if all those catastrophies werent heading towards me on that bridge, whats wrong with a nice dive every now and then to cool off from the stress life hands you?


2 - when life hands you lemons make lemonade.



everyone has to have heard this at least once in their life. what it basically means is to make the best out of what life gives you. when someone says this to you, it truly is a test of ones control . its very hard to try and hold back and not punch them in the face really hard. if something bad happens to me in my life the last thing i want is for someone to tell me to make lemonade with a stupid grin on their face. example: Karens house burned to the ground along with everything she owned. Sally walks up and puts an arm around Karens shoulder and says "Its going to be okay..... Hey! When life hands you lemons make lemondade sweetie." Karen never talks to Sally again. In conclusion, please stop saying this.

off topic a little but personally im not even a fan of lemonade. on a hot summer day i prefer some refreshing kool aid.

3. "Dont throw the baby out with the water"

found this gem on clichesite.com. Its safe to say I've never heard this before in my life. What it means though is we dont want to throw out the good stuff out when we throw out the bad stuff. Im going to leave this one alone.

Touched by an Angel?

In 1973, the world was formally introduced to Reagan, a youthful, lively girl by day--hideous priest killing, pea soup spewing, head spinning, potty mouth demon by night.

Since the early days of 1842, when our ancestors could walk on all fours and communicate by grunts, the issue of demonic possession has been on the top of the list of discussion topics next to the weather and celebrity gossip. It has plagued minds, and caused many-a-night terrors. The image of the stereotypical flaming red satanic creature with horns and black wings has been the object of fear, loathing, and scary religious people trying to entice you into their beliefs. But what happens to someone when they are possessed, and even an exorcism and gallons of blessed holy water cant stop the madness?? Well, pal, insanity ensues.

The devil possessed can wreck havoc with all sorts of serious shenanigans, horseplay, and funnybusiness! A normally composed and decent man of high morals can become the ultimate hoodlum under Sir Lucifer's watch. The lives that this unstoppable force interferes with can turn into lives filled with anguish, despair, melancholy...and any other synonym of the word "sad" that I could find on thesaurus.com.

But another question must be posted to the civilians out there, that as of yet, has not. Something that may parallel the bedlam that demonic possession causes. Something we all should thoughtfully address and talk about at your next family meeting. What becomes of someone possessed by...an angel?! "Gee Wilikers!" you say? Well, yes-those sweet little cherubs with rosy cheeks you just want to pinch like your creepy uncle does at family reunions. The ones in your fairytale books and wildest childhood dreams. Those pure little beings made of innocence, hugs, sunshine, and marshmallows. But these special winged creatures are better left in your fairytale books and nightly prayers, since when they mix with some people, its anything BUT angelic for the rest of us.

Angel Possession probably occurs more often than that other one, and can go virtually undetected because YOUR too busy enjoying those scrumptious scones your neighbor, Jane made for you for "just being you" (An angel made her do it) or those little punks that teepee'd your house on Halloween with Charmin double-ply toilet paper, the extra soft kind (Yup, they were possessed by angels too). I mean, can human beings REALLY have that much kindness and good will in our hearts without there being some underlying reason? No! Simply because the human race is the epitome of douchebaggery. You might be saying "How bad can angel possession be? It causes people to be happy and do nice things for each other. I wish everyone was possessed by an angel, blah, blah, BLAH!". Well you sir, or ma'am, need to get your head outta the clouds, cause theres about to be a thunderstorm called a reality check!

Too much angel possession can be the downfall of our race. There HAS to be a limit on the amount of cheerfullness and harmony one can endure. There must always be some a-holes, pessimists, sarcastic smart alecs, and stoic unemotionals out there to balance the mix, or else, we'll all be having a bowl of rainbows for breakfast, riding unicorns, swimming with pretty mermaids and skipping off into the sunset. Thats when we know all hells gonna break loose.

How many times have you felt absolutely miserable only to be overwhelmed with the excessive smiles, giggles, and all around chipperness of an angel-possessed colleague? When they say a smile can brighten up anyones day, "they" obviously dont know the old saying "Misery loves company". Admit it, your down-in-the-dumps self YEARNS to see another solemn little fellow to grieve with about the craptastic occurences and mundane reality of everyday life.

How many times have you felt the need to tell off an annoyingly happy aqquaintance with "No, darnit, the glass is not half full, its empty and shattered you fool!"-or- "Its not sunny and mild outside nerd, its freaking drizzling and chilly!". Maybe it was..."No, I dont want to attend your stupid neighborhood potluck and mingle, let me eat my dinners alone in the dark, just how I like!" And ofcourse, "No i refuse to engage in your insufferably upbeat small talk and peppy banter". If your nodding your head in sympethetic approval, you friend, have been badly affected by an Angel Possession, which is happening to over 20 million people worldwide, and its time to bring those angels down!

Now enough ranting, lets look for a solution. Lets erase the stigma attached with getting perky people help...and lets face it, excorcising an angel wont work! Angels practically frolic in holy water for fun! No we need REAL medical help.
Do you know what its like to be around these people? Its pretty f-ing annoying man. Thankfully though, the FDA has recently approved a prescription pro-depressant called "Angelo Repelento", which is Spanish for Angel Repelent. This all new, all safe drug will reduce a series of unbearably gleeful symptoms that come with angel possession such as:


- Squeeling loudly when a friend calls
- Participating in Community Theatre
- Beaming at anyone who makes eye contact with you
- Personalizing nameplates
- Greeting someone by pointing at them like this (see goofy drawing left)

- Use of trendy phrases such as "coolbeans" and"uber"

- Flailing of arms when excited

- Chatting up the people around you while waiting in line...and mucho more.


The results are stunning, as of the latest test run. It will take all those excessively jolly and festive people who love doing productive, social, and mentally stimulating things like group nature hikes and pottery class, and turn them into real, normal people who read only the comic section of the newspaper, order useless stuff online, sit on their butts eating cheetos and watching re-runs of Rock of Love, go days without human contact, sleep all the time, and basically go about everyday life in this steady pace.




Max (right, pre-Angelo Repelento) "I was always making eye contact with people and striking up fun chit chats with anyone who held my gaze for more than 5 seconds" he says. "Nothing could bring down my chipper moods".



We recently met former angel possessee, Max Weinberg. Thanks to Angelo Repelento, he believes he is 100% rid of his angel counterpart. As we enter his home, we notice his scraggly beatles tshirt with Ringo missing, and his unwashed, touseled hair. The blinds are drawn tightly, "Too much sunlight makes me wanna hurl" he says. He leads us to his living room, where we are greeted by his pet turtle, Mo. "I used to have a dog, but that mutt was always jumping around and wanting to go out and stuff. We'd go to the park and he'd call all this attention to us. Thats where I also used to meet up with my now former park buddies and we'd go for a latte at the cafe ole'. Mo is so much more chill, and we like to stay in most days. I hate cafes and unwanted attention now, by the way, and hugs", Max tells us with a shiver. He recently quit his job as a customer greeter at Kinko's, and now works as a part time paper seller at a local company, Dinder Mufflin. "Yeah" he says impassively. "The days go by, I like my cubicle. No one bothers me, its like I have my own shell, just like Mo".

Max (left, post Angelo Repelento) "This miracle drug taught me life can't really be lived with massive amounts of enthusiasm and social charisma like I had before", he says with a simple shrug of the shoulders.

Story #3 final idea (Annam)

For my third and final story for the class, I decided to write from a teenage boy's perspective. Heres how my idea developed and is coming along:

I was listening to a song called "She Talks to Angels", and the girl who the song is about struck me as a paradox. She seemed mysterious and intriguing. But usually people like that are portrayed as coming from less than ideal or usual backgrounds. However, I took it as this girl came from a normal home and family life, she just felt she was meant for more than that. Sort of like a typical restless teenage girl with dreams and plans and tons of angst. She also had many quirks and little things about her that gave off a strong imagery and sense about who she is. She seems like a frail person masked by her strong alter ago. She also seemed like she was more innocent and naive than she portrayed herself to be. Like most things, I probably read too deep into this one song, but I was actually more fascinated by the singer of the song than the girl he was singing about, if that makes sense. He seemed to have a certain personality and story about him too. By that, I dont mean the actual singer, but the kind of boy who would watch, interpret, and analyze a girl like her in such a way, noticing everything about her and being completely in awe of her as to sing about her.

I imagined him to be a soft spoken teenager, who spends alot of time by himself, drawing or playing the guitar. He's more emotional and understanding than most guys his age (around 16 or 17) Someone unassuming, and has a good relationship with his family but still cant be around them for more than an hour before needing a break. So from this idea, I decided to make him the main character of my story. I also want to incorporate the girl into it, because I believe it will give these two characters a strong dynamic since they are mirror images of each other.

It will start off at the boys home, where his parents are throwing a party for neighbors, relatives, and family friends. Tons of guests come over, and their children as well who are or around the boys age, but he has nothing in common with them and gets sick of all the pointless banter and commotion. He retreats to his room where he is fiddling around with his guitar, and thats when a girl quickly enters his room and shuts the door. She rests her head against the door and sighs. She obviously felt the same way he did. She very casually acts like theres nothing weird about her being in his room when shes never met him, and looks at him and starts walking around as if they know each other. At first, she scares him because of how blunt and confident she is, unlike any girl he's known before. He also doesnt recognize her from the place they live in.

She tells him shes an only child, and that her parents are devout Muslims, while her father is the preist or "molvee" at an Islamic masjid (a house of prayer) outside of the town. (In a previous post, I mentioned how I wanted to also incorporate my own background and heritage into this story) He learns their fathers are childhood friends, and thats how her parents and her were invited to this little get together. She tells him she didnt want to come, but her parents forced her to and told her about the family having a son her own age (him) that she might want to befriend. He learns that her entering his room wasnt an accident, as she saw him going up there when she arrived at the party, and she figured they both hated being apart of these little typical parties that occur in many Pakistani homes. They begin to talk, and realize how much they have in common, including the pressure they both feel from their parents high expectations, to following their culture and religion.

I pretty much have her life put together, but not his. The story wont only focus on the girl, I want his life and story to be a big part of it as well. I would like for these two opposites to learn from each other in a short time, and then never meet again but learn from each other, or possibly develop a continuing relationship. Maybe it will be a flashback, from a now adult man looking back at a chance encounter in the most crucial years of ones life. There will be a strong emphasis on their culture and religion as well and the cultural gap from growing up as first generation Americans. I have a lot more to do in terms of finishing this up and developing the story and characters but this is where Im up to as of now.

Response to "The Lottery" (Laura)

I first remember reading the lottery when I was in my sophomore year of high school. I don’t remember a lot of the other stories we read that year but the “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson has stuck with me. In this story a town lottery is being drawn and instead of the prize of money the winner gets stoned to death. The men, women and children all believe that the sacrifice of a human being will bring their town a good crop season. In my personnal opinion I think Shirley Jackson was trying to say that in life people are dealt a hand that isn’t particularly fair. Even though the lottery is this equal form of picking someone out for sacrifice, death in reality is rarely given fairly to people. Often it seems random, never really knowing when your time is up.

I almost forgot how frightening this story is when you first read through it after not having read it in such a long time. The way it is initially written makes the story have that shock factor tricking you by starting off describing what a beautiful day it was “clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green.” Its even stated that when the lottery was done with the villagers would have enough time to get home for dinner giving you the impression that someone wasn’t going to be brutally stoned to death. I mean kids were playing together and mundane conversations were taking place among the villagers.

The way people just stood around a let this happen to this woman definitely shocked me. People in the story didn’t question the age old tradition, accepting this brutal ritual that can be bestowed on anyone regardless of your age in town. I guess in a way we all stood idly by at one time as something that could have been prevented was occurring. Especially as children, no one has gone through the New York Public school system without witnessing the bullying of a child by another. Many times we stood back and ignored it not wanting to get involved and accepted it. After reading this story it makes you question yourself and whether you would stand up and say something or pick up a stone and join in. At the end as Mrs. Hutchinson is surrounded by the very same people not hours before were her friends and shouts “It isn't fair, it isn't right," Mrs. Hutchinson screamed, and then they were upon her” haunts you as along with the image of her horrible end. I remember picturing myself in her position and asking what if this was a normal custom in today’s society.

I’m not really sure I would change anything about the story because it does everything a story should do. It draws in the reader, shocking them and making them think about it long after their done reading it. I think it says a lot about Shirley Jackson and the fact she was able to write a story that people remember long after escaping high school.

Story #3 and an inspiration for writing (Annam)

I consider writer, Isabel Allende to be something of a rarity. Shes the one that inspired me to write through her stories and books that Ive read over the years. The first one was The House of the Spirits, and to this day, its my favorite book. The magic realism and the bittersweet inhabitants of Isabel's mind still amaze me. It took me a year to complete it simply because I didnt want to let go of Clara, Alba, Esteban and the other tragically beautiful characters that I came to love. As weird as that sounds, the same happened to my best friend when she read it. When I was finished with it, I was 16 and shortly after, I wanted to write a story whose style was inspired by and reminisicent of Allende. Its about a mystical and deep relationship of a grandmother & granddaughter that no one but them can understand, which is alluring to me since I also have a close relationship to my grandma. I just came across this saved on Microsoft Word and its from 2006. Its called "Caterpillar" and here's the first half of it:



"What color is the ocean, caterpillar?" my grandmother, my abuela asked me in a rather peculiar tone. I hopped over to my window sill and naively gazed at the grand body of liquid, not knowing the intense mystery and fear it would hold for me in the future. "Blue!" I shouted back, in my nasally, squeamish voice which seemed to echo throughout the delicate room that I shared with my abuela. She gave me a modest grin, which seemed rather forced. "Is it not blue?" I asked her curiously. Abuela signaled me to hop back over and rest my head on her shoulder. I did without question. I knew this meant it was time for abuela to read me one of her enchanting stories from her libro mágico or tell me of her adventures during her childhood in the jungles of Guatemala.

I liked to look at abuela any chance I could get, She did not have wavy wrinkles like my best friend, Delfina's grandmother. Rather she had deep laugh lines around her mouth and small markings on the sides of her eyelids that resembled arrows shooting up into the sky. She explained how her eye wrinkles had formed so vividly, from when she was growing up in Santa Elena, she developed an eye twitch that plagued her throughout her adolescent years, and that constant movement of her eyes caused the tiny arrow markings to form. This story brought laughter to three generations of our relatives and close-knit friends, and abuela loved to put a smile on everyone's face, even at her own expense every now and then. Her features were dark like fresh honey and her almond eyes fascinated me so much so, that sometimes I would force her not to blink so I could study the unusual blue lining that enclosed her dark brown pupils.

I loved to smell her strange aroma of coconut oil and lavender milk, like the kind she would massage into my scalp and bathe me with in the porcelian tub in the backyard. Abuela had a fragile bump on her shoulders from a loose bone, which caused an indentation, almost making her shoulders resemble crescent moons. I nudged the side of my head right between the arch and rubbed my gentle skin against hers. "Por las vides de los árboles del bosque, y de la melodía del pájaro de la canción, había un río secreto de lágrimas, y vivió en ello a una sirena con la ciruela coloró pelo y pela piel transparente". Abuela closed her eyes and recited this in an animated, colorful tone of voice that only she possessed.

My Spanish was still developing and I understood a bit, but never the less, I recited her words in English from memory, which was sharper than the elephants of India, as papa would say:"Through the vines of the forest trees, and the melody of the song bird, there was a secret river of tears, and in it lived a mermaid with plum colored hair and transparent skin". Abuela grinned at me again, but this time, her crooked teeth showed their odd beauty and she ran her hand smoothly against my face, I adored that. "¡Cuán encantador, Caterpiller! How lovely you speak and understand!" she praised my minimum efforts, in an attempt to encourage me to stay true to my heritage, and continue watching and learning. I tried to hold in my laughter but I succumbed. I was never a good liar. "Abuela...I memorized the story from the last time you read it to me in english!" Abuela scowled at me and jokingly pulled my ear.

We quieted down when the setting fiery sun and tropical horizon poured in through the terrace door and filled the room with an airy, bright aura. I felt like I was inside of a faerie's wings, and abuela yawned for the warm glow seeped into her eyes. "Mi nieta, maybe I will rest my eyes for a bit. Why dont you go check up on mama, or collect sand dollars by the shore?" I gently kissed abuela on her fragile forehead and thinning head of silver locks, leaving the curtains open so that the radiant rays could surround her as she drifted off. As I skipped and counted down the perfectly alligned marble steps leading to front gardens in which mama was watering her wildflowers, I wondered what the color of the ocean really was, that I could not answer to abuela who seemed to want to tell me with her eyes, to look beneath the surface for miles and miles.

3rd story idea (Laura)

Right now I'm working on my third story and there are a few ideas floating around my noggin. I had a hard time for awhile trying to think of something interesting to write about. Little did I know but it would take another class to help me along in my brainstorming. My psychology class was the one to inspire me when I had to write a paper about the fears people sometimes express in life a few weeks ago. Now I'm thinking about writing about three or four individuals that are connected or somehow cross paths during their lives due to their various strange phobias. Believe me there are alot, ALOT of strange phobias out there.
Researching for it last week I certainly got a small kick out of looking through the list of fears people develop. I mean I thought I had it bad with being scared of bugs and heights, but there are actual people out there that are afraid of things that aren't so obvious to those making a list. There is the obligatory fear of the dark, but the fear of laughter and the fear of bald people kind of threw me for a loop when I read them. I'm defiantly making one of my characters exhibit a phobia close in strangeness to those two.
I'm already starting to think of the names for my characters, one of my favorite parts of coming up with a story. One of them is going to be named Walter, after this sweet little old man that was in my film class last semester and another character is going to be called Sophia, for my niece.
That's all I've thought about so far, I'm slowly going through the details and most importantly the actual plot of my story.

The Happening

It happens all the time. It may be happening right now somewhere near you as you read this blog thats telling you it might be happening, somewhere near you and it just may be...A nostalgic conversation about childhood memories.

Being a kid in the late eighties to nineties was a blessing in disguise, even if we didnt know it at the time. The days started off with a thrilling game of hide and seek, some kickball, maybe even a cool game of donkey kong, sonic, or mario bros. on your nintendo, and leaving everything behind once you heard the familiar jingle of the mr. softee truck. It ended with you coming home to watch reliable 90's Nickelodeon TV, while snacking on some dunk-a-roos or the ever satisfying fruit rollup.

Shows like Figure It Out where you guess peoples wacky talents were always fun to play along with. Salute Your Shorts, Clarissa Explains It All, Alex Mack, and All That were just a remote click away. Hey Arnold! and Doug were cartoon masterpieces of their day. YOU longed to be one of the contestents on Legends of the Hidden Temple because lets face it, we all wanted to don those khaki cargo pants and be known as 1/2 of the "blue barracudas" racing to put together the shrine of the silver monkey.



R.L Stine deserves some kind of upstanding citizen award for his books turned TV extravaganza, Goosebumps. "Viewer Beware your in for a scare" didnt even begin to cut it. Creepy crawly critters, live gnomes, ventriloquist dolls, glowy eyed dogs, all that good stuff.

Remember when Are You Afraid of the Dark? gave your Saturday night an extra dose of the chill factor? The intro music alone, along with a random shot of a desolate playground and cob webbed old attic, never failed to send a shiver up your spine. Lighting a match (with parental supervision of course) would never be the same. Plus, what was with that stupid troll doll just casually placed up in that old attic? I mean come on!

Every kid wished they could join the midnight society and tell scary stories about school lockers that transport you back to the 70’s, a cold little ghost boy who just wants his warm jacket back, the ever frightening phone police, and of course, little girls who get trapped inside their dollhouse (I sure as hell steered clear of my dollhouse for a good while after seeing that).


Who didn’t want to sit in the woods around a campfire in the dead of night, surrounded by the rustling of the evergreens and the flickering of the flames? Personally, I always wanted to throw that special dust in the nifty pouch on to the fire so it would grow and produce that white smoke. And I triple dog dare you to find a true 90's kid who'll say that they never secretly dreamed of venturing off to Orlando, Florida to be slimed by that irresistable green gooey globbity gloop.

Nowadays, kids are stuck watching a show with a girl who lives a normal teenage life during the day and masquerades as a world famous pop star by night.....I mean....Do the people at her school suffer from cataracts? She just puts on a blonde wig as her disguise. Thats it! Its a bunch of malarkey is all. Pure malarkey. What else does Nick or Disney television offer todays teens? You've got your choice of Romeo, Zoey 101, Corey in the House, or those twins from Big Daddy running around a hotel. Fail. And what about the youngsters?

Just 1o years or so prior, we had Rugrats, Little Bear, Franklin, Gullah Gullah Island, The Puzzle Place and mucho more...and the oh so lovable "Face" to fill our Nick jr. days. Now young children are stuck with characters such as a commercialized "explorer" who just recently made headlines by ditching her innocent childish antics and opting for a more "teenage" image. This in part explains why kids today feel the need to grow up so fast. womp womp womp. Lets hope this changes. Or atleast lets try to show our children, little siblings, nieces, nephews etc. the things we were able to enjoy as kids.

Because of the awesome tv shows, books, and movies that were available to us children of the 80s/90s, we have tons of memories to look back on and talk about. We wouldnt trade it for anything. Except for maybe getting slimed.

Whats in a name...

Your name can say alot about who you are and where your from. Its your identity. Some people even believe names have special effects that can map out the destiny and predict the future for the beholder. Others insist a name comes with certain personality traits already imbeded in it and shapes people into who they become. These days, young girls and a few boys across the seaboard use precious daydreaming time in class to jot down detailed "Baby Name" lists for their future bundle of joy. Extra attention is put into choosing a name that sounds tasteful to the ear, and maybe even has a positive meaning.

Bob Smith of Beaver County, Utah and his wife, Betty Sue, recently welcomed their 5th son into the world. They named him Jon.

"Well now, just you wait a minute..." Bob replied, when we asked him why he chose such a classic name in an era when people are vying to come up with the wackiest, most outrageous and trendy baby name like Moonshyne Radar or Pixie Stardust. "I ain't all about that fancy shmancy hoo haa". Betty Sue quietly stands by her man and nods in full agreement.

"We chose Jon, after our other four sons who we call Joe, Jeb, Jim, and Harold. These are good names with a kind of reserved confidence and masculine strength that every man must possess to survive". Betty Sue adds "Humble, simple, strong...sturdy. Yes, a good sturdy name is what we Smiths are known for".

Betty Sue (right) alongside her sister, Darlene, listen on as Bob reads passages from the scriptures and explains why celebrity, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz will feel the "wrath" for naming her "out of wedlock offspring", Bronx, after a "city of sin".




But is there really that much importance to what a child is named?

In some cases, the much anticipated naming process can go horribly awry. For example, if your name just so happened to be Anita Bath, many would say your in dire need of a good scrub down when in actuality, you may be squeaky clean and minty fresh.

But while Anita Bath may just be a figment of imagination, her male counterpart is fully alive and kicking, a young fellow that goes by the name: Wayne Dwops.

We recently spoke to Wayne at his family owned Halloween costume emporium in rural Wyoming, his old hometown which he frequently visits from his new hometown of East L.A. He told us that Dwops is a family name that dates back several lightyears to the great Dutch viking, "Flanders MacArthur Dwops of the High Plains".

And Wayne was a name that his mother wrote down as her first choice for a boy in her very own "Baby Name List" back in her 1970's ninth grade classroom. "If it weren't for my Algebra teacher being so creepy and boring, I never would have had the time to ponder up some baby names. Thanks Mr. Gluckman!" said Angelika Dwops, a vivacious woman with a pep in her step. Why did she choose Wayne though? Did it have history or a meaningful meaning? "Nope" she said "It just sounded groovy". All this put together was what Wayne's parents thought equaled one heckuva name.

But the world saw otherwise. "Bullies had a feild day with my name" Wayne tells us, his listless, dreamy eyes looking nowhere in particular, as he journies back to his junior high days. "It was funny to them 'cause you know...It kind of sounds like someone with a really bad lisp saying rain drops".

But it wasnt just his name that the bullies targeted. They also aimed a low blow at his parental units. "They'd be like "So are your parents like one of those, like, freaky, tree hugging dirty hippies? And I'd be all "Huh?" and they'd be like "I didn't stutter, dweeb".

Wayne had to pause for a moment as he seemed to choke back a few wet tears. But he was back after a short bathroom break. He continued, "'Cause hippies are into all that free love and peace and rain crap. So they assumed my parents named me after the rain". A name that had deep roots for one family was turned by those little douchebags into a name that was nothing more than a free spirits favorite thing to sing/dance in or that popular tune some guy sings about how rain drops keep falling on his head.

"I used to sit by my window and stare at the night sky, up to the heavens and I would think why couldnt my parents just have named me Justin or Chaz? Why couldnt they have been less stoned when they chose my name? But now that Im all grown up, I embrace it", Wayne explains, "I constantly tell myself-This is you inside and out. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, mister man!"

And who does Wayne look to for a pick me up when he's feeling sullen? "Boy George, for sure" he says, his face lighting up at the mere mention of the sassy pop icons name. "Boy George is the one that originally stated "I am what I am".


Words to live by.

whats the dealio? part 2: turtles

According to a zombie boy, turtles are just about everything and then some...

the evidence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjw_LD6twFM&feature=PlayList&p=6A31629070789138&index=1

And in related topics, which teenage mutant ninja turtle was your favorite, and did you the play the popular role playing game "ninja turtles" as a kid? my brother and 3 cousins always assumed the coveted roles of leonardo, michelangelo, donatello, and raphael. i wanted to be michelangelo because he was a hoot and i loved his orange eyemask.

...but no, i was always forced to be master splinter. eh, he was alright i guess. he got the "all knowing and wise rat" part down pretty well, which is not easy. and he possessed master ninja abilities, which is #43 on my top 100 list of things to do.

Children story (Yinan)

this it the children story for Michael's publication.

Happy family

One day, bunny Jimmy and Pauline are playing outside the grass field. They are brother and sister. They race with each other and chase the butterfly everywhere. The weather is nice and warm. It is neither too cold nor too hot. The spring breeze blows over their faces and it feel like the silk touches their skins. The grasses start to turn fresh green and the flower blooms are ready to come out. Jimmy and Pauline are so happy.
Unfortunately, Pauline falls off on the ground while she is running and she starts crying.
“Help! Help! Jimmy!”
Jimmy runs to her and helps her to get up. Suddenly, Jimmy sees a big carrot on the floor and seems like somebody drops it by accident. Jimmy points to the carrot and says, “Hey, look! What is that?”
Pauline stops crying and turn to the floor. “Oh my God, that is a carrot!” Pauline is so excited that you can never tell she was just crying a minute ago.
“It looks so fresh and delicious.”
“Let’s eat it, I’m hungry!”
Jimmy and Pauline are ready to eat. They carry the carrot to the center of the grass field.
“So how do we share it?”
“Of course I should get the bigger size than you, because I find it first!” Jimmy says.
“No, that is not fair. That stupid carrot makes me fall off. I want to eat more!” Pauline shouts to Jimmy.
“I am your older brother, I am bigger than you and I desire more!”
“I am your little sister. I need more food to grow up faster.”
“I am older than you. So you have to listen to me all the time.”
“No. I am younger than you and you should take care of me and give me the bigger one!”
They argue louder and louder and no one wants to give up the bigger part of the carrot. However, a big bird flies over and takes the carrot away.
Jimmy and Pauline now can’t even say a word. After they realize what just happens, they start running and follow the bird.
They run as fast as they can and finally they see the bird landed on the ground.They come out the plan and make the team work perfectly.
Jimmy chases the bird away and Pauline carries the carrot when the bird is chased by her brother.
In the end, Jimmy and Pauline get their carrot and carry to home.
“Well, my sister, I think you are right. You are younger than me and I shouldn’t be selfish and share you with the smaller part of the carrot. Here you are. You desire the bigger part of the carrot.”
“No, no. I think I am wrong too. I should not make so many excuses. Without your plan, we will lose the whole carrot. So I think you can take the big part of the carrot. I’m small and I actually can’t eat that much. I am just being greedy before.”
Jimmy and Pauline both realize their mistakes and they are now good brother and sister.
“How about we cut the carrot with four equal pieces and share them with mom and dad?”
“That’s terrific!”
In the end, bunny family share the big carrot together and they are all feel so happy!

My Second Story (Yinan)

My second story was about the robots. In the beginning, I was struggling about what I should write about. The due day was around my CPE exam. I decided to study the CPE first and then figured out my second story. However, as I read the piece The Real Transformer, some ideas came out and that story made me think a lot. I began to think what happen if human developed the robots too well; what happen if the robots were smarter than human beings and then took over the place. What happen if … Then I believed that I could write my second story about robots. It was a new topic and seems like very interesting for me too. That was how my second story came out. My second story was talking about a dentist who had no parents and grew up on his own. By accident, he found a secret diary from his dead grandpa, which was an introduction of how to make a super robot. Then he started work on his own and tried to make a super robot. However, he made it based on his childhood mate and he fell in love with the robot. Unfortunately, robots were forbidden during that time and he had to hide her in his office. One time the dentist attended to a meeting in other city and left the robot home. The robot was lacking charge while she was washing curtains and she sank into the water until broke. That was a sad story. In the end, the dentist was too sad to lose the robot and wandered on the street. Suddenly, a car came and hit him. When he woke up in the hospital, he lost all his memories. But his heart hurt for some reasons that he didn’t know.

Response to "Harrison Bergeron" (Annam)

"Harrison Bergeron" is a short story by one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut. It's sort of a sci fi fiction piece about a dystopian society, where equality isnt neccesarily ideal. In fact, nothing in the year 2081 is ideal, rather miserable, oppressed, and to put it bluntly, insane for the lives of its civilians. No one is allowed to be better than the other. Everyone must be limited to medicoracy. Looks and intellect are among the things that are sized up or down to achieve an average standard. The worst thing to be in a society such as this one is beautiful or intelligent, quite contrary to todays reality. Anyone with an exceptional amount of these traits must bear numerous handicaps to minimize them.

Harrison Bergeron is the protagonist, a radical teenage boy of outstanding beauty, strength, and intelligence. Therefore, his natural advantages are covered up with handicaps. His eyebrows are shaven off and he must wear a clown nose to mask his beauty. An earpiece is implanted in him to frequently blast disarming noises into his brain and impede his thought process. He is given eyeglasses that cause him headaches, and is adorned with 300 pounds of scrap metal to hinder his above average agility.

Meanwhile, his parents sit incognizantly in their home, watching TV. His mother, Hazel, seemed to be "blessed" with an average intelligence from birth, and therefore is excused from experiencing the cruel handicaps, unlike her husband, George. He, like Harrison, has his physical state obstructed by a bag of lead balls tied around him, and his atypically progresssive intellect slowed down with an earpiece radio emitting various bewildering noises such as a twenty one gun salute. While reading, I thought why couldnt they just remove these degrading things from themselves while in the confines of their home. "Two years in prison and two thousand dollars fine for every ball I took out,” said George. “I don’t call that a bargain.”

The story heightens when Harrison escapes from the police, manages to get on TV and declares himself the "emperor", like a way of saying there are different classes, and some people will always be better or worse off than others, despite trying to control life against that. Harrison tears off all of his handicaps, and grabs a ballerina standing nearby and discards of her handicaps as well, to reveal the wonderful beauty and grace of both characters. They dance together, until they are shot down by the "US Handicap General", and thats that. Much like todays world, the gun is still all mighty.

I always seem to learn, think, and take away a great deal of inspiration when reading a Vonnegut story. In such societies, equality and fairness have a distorted connotation, where the lives of its beings are suppressed beyond belief and there is little that can be done to evolve or bring change. Much like Shirley Jacksons "The Lottery", Vonnegut explores in depth an almost alternate society in a parallel universe, yet ironically it takes place here on our own earth, and more specifically, in supposidly the most free and equal country in the world, America. Thats something to think about.

Response to "One of These Days" (Yinan )

One of These Days

One of These Days was a very short story which was written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It was talking about a dentist pulled out an infected wisdom tooth of the Mayor without the anesthesia. It is an interesting story but it reflected the truth that might happen in our recent society vividly.

In the beginning, the author sets up the background and tells us how the dentist looks like and his working situations. The dentist, Aurelio Escovar, is not rich and professional. The dentist can open an office without any degrees, which is not allowed. But in the story, maybe that was the mayor who gave the permissions for him to open the office. But obviously, he was not wealthy dentist like others. Then the dentist “went on working with the idea that before lunch it would rain again”. That foreshadowed the bad mayor would come just like the bad weather would come. His eight-year-old son told the mayor’s arrival as a patient and the dentist refused to see him. That reflected us the mayor was not welcomed by the dentist either as a mayor or a patient. Therefore, that must be a bad mayor who didn’t care about his residents and made his own profits for himself from the town. The dentist tried to lie out but the mayor heard his voice already. The mayor warned him if he didn’t take care of him, he would shoot him. A mayor or a patient should threaten a dentist like this as well. Therefore, from the dialogue between the dentist and the son and the reactions of the dentist, they both made the readers feel that the mayor was unwelcomed by the dentist and the mayor must do something bad for him or his town. After inspecting the infected tooth, the dentist told the mayor that tooth had to be taken without anesthesia. The mayor tried to smile to the dentist but the dentist didn’t response to him at all. The dentist prepared the instruments and washed his hand without looking at the mayor. However, the mayor was staring at his every action carefully all the time. The carefuless attitudes could make the patient more worried because the dentist didn’t even care about him at all. During the procedure the dentist was taking out the tooth, the dentist said with a bitter tenderness” Now you’ll pay for out twenty dead men.” That was full emotions of abominations and made readers understand why the dentist hated the mayor so much and didn’t even treat him politely like a patient. The mayor was tearing and trembling. When the mayor left, he told the dentist to send the bill. The dentist asked to him or the town. The mayor said it was the same thing. We could tell the mayor didn’t pay the bill right after treatments and used the town money as his own. The poor situation of the dental office reflected the poor situation of the town. All the money for the town residents was wasted by the mayor. Even there were twenty people died because of the mayor.

This story reminds me our today’s society. I believe there are such mayors exits in this world and waste people’s money for their own profits. They don’t care about their people and don’t want to take the responsibilities as a mayor or other leaders. The story never mentioned the mayor was bad. But from the attitudes, communications and actions that the dentist treated him, the readers could clearly identify how bad this mayor was and how much people hated him. That is really a good and meaningful story!

Story #2 (Laura)

I've just completed my second story. For a while I had a hard time trying to figure out what the hell to even write about. One day while I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I was inspired to write a story with a similar concept involving the deliberate erasing of ones memory but approach it from an entire different view point. Instead of a man and a woman who once were in love but end up with broken hearts, I took the road of a mother and son whose relationship over the years has gone astray. The connection between a mother and her child is formed even before birth, I thought it would be interesting to explore that bond that can be so strong to break. I decided to make the mother an alcoholic in the story who hurt her son, my main character Miles, deeply as a young child growing up. Throughout the story he tries to forget her, ignoring the recent letter she has sent to him. When he makes the choice to get the procedure I wanted him to sort of battle it out in his head on the way to getting it done. I used flashbacks to show the happy times he had shared with his mother using even some of my own memories.

The message I was trying to get across is that memories are what make us who we are. The good ones and even the most horrible ones that you wish to forget. Often in life when we lose something involuntarily, we want it back so badly. We need to appreciate the good things that happen in our life along with the not so good. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't thought about it while I watched the movie for the first time because I seriously wouldn't mind erasing a couple embarrassing memories from my adolescence. I've find it very useful to just imagine that they've never happened or better yet happened to someone else.

im done.

Response to "Transcience" (Laura)

In the story "Transience" by Annam, a girl who lives her life as a drifter is found dead with no one knowing her true identity. Throughout the story we learn facts about her life through the different people she's encountered along the way. In a way these characters are changed by this young girl who never stayed in one place for too long. She saves their lives but sadly loses her own.

What I think the story is trying to convey is that were all connected in some bizarre way. As strangers we walk by each other on the street, ignoring one another brushing by without care. Although we may be too wrapped up in our own life at times were still all just one step away from meeting a new person that could change the pathway our life is on at the moment, may it be for better or for worse. I prefer the former. One person who could essentially shine a whole new light on an area in your life that's been hidden.

Now if I was asked the question --- If you were the author of "Transience" would you change anything about it?

I would have to respond no, I would not. (Especially since I share the blog with the author of the story)
The reason I liked it so much was because it worked and was written so well, I wouldn't even know what to change If forced to. I sincerely enjoyed reading it from beginning to end because it caught my attention, which I'll admit is not always easy to do. The way Miss Malik describe everything in details allowed me to picture the story in my head as though I was watching a movie play out. I liked how she started the story off too, with the young boys finding her cold lifeless body. As a reader it made me feel pity for the girl right away and how she was all alone when her life ended too soon.

I look forward to reading more stories by Annam. She has a knack for it.

Response to "The Lottery" (Annam)

"The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson is about an old tradition carried through to current times, where a townsperson is randomly chosen to be sacrificed by their own neighbors, by stoning. The fellow townspeople believe this will lead to a bountiful crop harvest and although it can be viewed as outdated, savage and cruel, the people of the town can't see past what they think of as normal. To them, its something that must be done to uphold tradition and an age old belief.

This story was undeniably ahead of its time when it was written, and the message and meaning behind it is quite controversial. You start off reading it, not really expecting something so brutal and haunting to eventually show itself. You read about young children gathering stones, and may even assume its a game. You witness as the lottery is about to begin and the townspeople gather, acting as if its something as mundane and time wasting as a routine check up at the dentist or running errands. But when someone is chosen to be the one, realization starts to occur when her screams and pleads are serious, and the stones the children gathered hold a severe purpose.

You not only question why things occur the way they do in this fictitious story, but what if this occured in reality? You must also wonder what you would do if you were in that position, as the one sacrificing or the one being sacrificed. Usually in the name of tradition or belief, people do extreme things. Sometimes, what is considered "normal" by some is unbelievable to others. I thought about all this long after I finished reading it, and stories that allow the reader to comtemplate and question beyond themselves have truly achieved something great.

To Twatlight I say Pish posh and apple shosh!

Robert Pattinson is a mystical movie man$lut. He seems to have a fetish for playing supernatural pretty boys in whimsical cinematic productions.

Cedric Diggory (Harry Potter) and now, Edward Cullen are just two idenitites he has portrayed on the silver screen. Nowadays, tween girls and their mothers are going batshit over these lifesucking literary works of crap known as the Twilight saga. One by one, our close companions and neighbors alike are voluntarily reading this phenomenon and getting hooked like crack. And from countless PSA's from the 80s, we all know crack is wack.

Friendships are being torn apart. Speaking for myself (Laura) I've lost three friends to Stephanie Meyer. And for I, (Annam) I have lost my dignity after I willingly purchased a movie ticket to witness this epic failure come to life.

Basic summary: stupid girl named Bella becomes utterly ~*dazzled*~by a wild ride known as Edward, the most beautiful vampire on earth. And if that doesnt do enough to render you in a zombie like state, watching these two waltz around town without a care in the world besides their eternal "true love" will, quite frankly, make you want to punch someone right in the schnoz.

Oh, Rpattz, you vampiric pale lad, you're just adding to this rabid hysteria. Sadly, the books are selling faster than you can write "Bite me, Edward" on your neck. And there is already another movie headed our way which will only make it worse.

Our theory is that young'n's dont have anything else to turn to but thoughtless rubbish such as the aforementioned, created just for their gullible minds. Twatlight, twirplight, whatever your name is...for PETE'S SAKE, scram already!

Pete Mullin, as mentioned above. His disdain for Twilight is apparent from the visibly solemn expression on his face.

this post serves no function

Whats not useless and pointless?

-Pants are not useless.
-Breathing is not useless. Nor is it pointless.

-High quality security is not useless


-Stylish footwear is not useless












- Multi-colored cats will never be pointless


-Faking a dentist appointment to get out of lab only for it to come back and bite you is not useless and will never not be funny for those who witness it.

-Realizing soon after that you actually HAD a dentist appt that day for your bothersome wisdom tooth and missed it is...actually quite useless & pointless & a terrible coinky dink.



-MC Hammer pants are positively not pointless and can't be touched.




- TV personality Jimmy Fallon is not useless when it comes to causing severe secondhand embarassment to those who watch him failing at life.

billy joel: secrets revealed!

I hear Michael Daley listening to Billy Joel.

I can't help but wonder where Mr. William Joel is right now...

Wherever he is, I hope he is playing his ivory keyed piano that I gave him for his 16th birthday. He was very appreciative of the gift when he recieved it. It came from Sri Lanka and rumor has it, it belonged to the king. Good thing I don't believe everything I hear!

FACT : Annam Malik loves lip singing to Billy Joel when shes writing fanfiction about twilight.

FICTION: Laura Nici does not have a Billy Joel shrine in the back of her closet complete with his used tissue won on ebay.

everything in this post is a blatant lie, except maybe for the first line.

Coming up with a plot for a story (Annam)

This is A of "K.L.A" . Im trying to come up with ideas for my next story. Im thinking of having elements of Pakistani culture in it. I read "The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri, and just finished her other book called "Interpreter of Maladies". She often writes about South Asian culture. I really admire her, as a writer but more as a person. Her work is very minimalistic and concise, and her stories center around people of South Asian descent and their life experiences. Interpreter of Maladies is a collection of her nine short stories that flow together but are not neccesarily related.

One thing I noticed about Jhumpa Lahiri is that she doesnt feel the need to always have the typical "beginning, middle, and end" format in her writing which is refreshing. The Namesake has a clear storyline though since its a novel. Its about a Bengali-American boy who struggles with the cultural gap of growing up surrounded by American culture but also in a home with parents who are strong and persistant in their Bengali heritage. Jhumpa, herself is a Bengali-American, so I guess she incorporates her own real life experiences into her work. I find its easy for me to write about random things or whatever bizzarre thing Im imagining up, but I have yet to take an experience as personal and realistic as my heritage or family life and base it or fictionalize it into a story.

Story #2 (Annam)

I'm half way done with my second story. I feel like the whole concept is in my head but I just need to express it in actual, tangible words. The main character is called Kurt. I sort of choose the names of my characters on a...whim (I always wanted to use that word, yes!) This may sound really dumb but I was listening to Nirvana when I started writing it, so I was like "Hey, I'll just name him Kurt"...and then itunes decided to play a Kings of Leon song, and I thought "I'll just make his last name Followill, like the guys in that band". Very creative, i know.

Anyway, he's supposed to be this normal guy who moves to New York from Kansas because he wants to be closer to real oppurtunities, since he didnt feel like he had that in Kansas. He believes in the "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere" aspect of New York. He's extremely idealistic, and is hoping to get lucky and meet respected writers, make connections, become apart of some sort of well known writers circle, and eventually be recognized for his work and be a famous writer (In case you didnt know, he wants to be a writer). But his initial reaction and experience in NY isnt good. Everything just seems to be going against him, from a crappy job he gets to pay rent for a run-down apartment with a weird roommate.

Thats actually all I got to so far in terms of what I wrote down. But for the rest, i want all these negative experiences to make him feel scattered and uninspired, creatively, so it effects his writing to the point where he just stops. And then one day after a really sucky start to the morning, he's on this sort of "fateful" train going to his first day on the job and he begins watching the people around him, now his "fellow New Yorkers", people unlike he knew in his town where everyone was just painfully normal. It seems like every person just sitting on his train cart, like him following a mundane morning routine, has something interesting that Kurt could see beyond the surface. So in that short train ride, he instantly feels creatively inspired again and gets all these ideas for characters and story plots based on the people he encountered. Its like the city and people he once resented become his new muse. Um...Thats it!

whats the dealio? part 1: witches

?
:/
So, We have been thinking about witches ever since we saw the trailer for Race to Witch Mountain, the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson one. It made us wonder what we each would be like if we were witches. (Keyword: *if*) And for that matter what would you do??


I (Kayla) always imagined myself as a "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" kind of witch, getting into shenanigans and having a cat named Salem who could talk. I would love to cast spells over all the hooligans I've encountered. On the other hand, I may be more of a Harry Potter kind of witch (wizard.) I would dress everyday in a long robe and cloak so that others may distinguish me from those wannabe witches. Also, my pointy hat would be extra pointed.

I (Annam) would want to possess a magical wand full of wonder and a sparkling ballgown and transport to a dazzling land via bubble, inhabited by enchanted small folk and woodland creatures. Good witch of the north type, you catch my drift? I would also turn nosey little boys into mice, a la 1990 movie masterpeice "The Witches".

I, (Laura) would have a black cauldron...

(Below) said black cauldron.

As witches, we would be known as no trio of witches has ever been known before, a totally cool name that we came up with ourselves "The Witches of Eastwick"...Ahh, yes. And we would give the power of lyrical finesse A.K.A. mad rap skillz to those who lack them. This would be our way of making the world a more ball'n place.


We leave you dear readers with a final thought...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEa1BYBgeQI



(by the way, this post is the product of us not knowing what to write. scary the tricks empty minds play).