Surefire ways to annoy your fellow human beings

Being passive aggressive is not easy. I should know. There are many people and things you despise with the heat of a thousand burning suns, yet for some reason, you dont show it. Maybe you hate confrontation, or your too lazy to say anything and would much rather privately wallow in your sorrows. Us "pass-aggs" as we like to call ourselves, may feel the need to speak up against what we find unacceptable from time to time. But most of the time, we just like to bitch inside our scattered minds and find creative little, unassuming ways to get back at those who wronged us. Say what you want, its our way of life and its definitely better to be passive agressive than to be...agressive-aggressive..?

So here for all the pass-aggs and even to anyone else who might need some passive aggressive wisdom, are surefire ways to tick off, piss off, annoy and just all around be an ass to anyone who deserves it. They dont even have to be directed at anyone in particular, just do them to blow off some steam and get some pass-agg satisfaction. Its completely healthy, believe me. And all can be done in the most passive agressive manners known to man:

-Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

-If someone says they love something, reply "then why dont ya marry it!?"
-Highlight irrelevant information in your papers/work and hand in to boss/teachers.
-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

-Signal your bored of someone by pretending to doze off when they are talking, fake snore for extra oomph.
-Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
-Staple pages in the middle of the page.
-Honk and wave to strangers, a toothy grin and thumbs up for added effect.
-Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply nibble on their complimentary mints at the cash register.
-TYPE IN UPPERCASE, and use only online lingo and abbreviations (ex. omg! lol irl, l8r)
-Repeat the following a few times when someone is talking:"DO YOU HEAR THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
-Ask people what gender they are.

- Wear graphic t's with obnoxious or random slogans. (True story: I once saw a boy wearing a shirt that said "Drink 8-10 glasses of water per day" It was the most annoying shirt ive ever seen and i couldnt stop looking at it)

- for men, wear v-neck tshirts that showcase your chest hair.

-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
-Sing along at the opera.
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
-Ask your co-workers/friends mysterious questions about themselves and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

- Give uncreative nicknames to inanimate objects (ex. pen named "peny", book named "booky") and refer to them in everyday conversations

-Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

-Drum on every available surface.

- Ask people if they would like to join your "air band", Say your the lead air guitarist and the only available spot for them is air maracas or air xylephone.

-Start off a compliment with "ooh la la!", creepy smile and a bat of the eyelashes

-Repeat everything someone says, as a question and answer all questions with a question (Ex. If someone says: Where are you going?, you say "Where am I not going?")

-Speak with different accents, Southern and British accent are especially encouraged.

-Never make eye contact.

- Never break eye contact.

- And lastly, as much as possible, skip rather than walk.